I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
