Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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