you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
