Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
