ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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