so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
