Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
