i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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