Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
