So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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