On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
