OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
