I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
