hell yes lets make some ravioli
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
