Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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