I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
