It's Friday. Sex?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
