I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
