Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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