Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
