You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
