He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
