Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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