R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
