I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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