life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am available for nakedness
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
