We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
