I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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