i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
