Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
