I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
