yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
