This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
