your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
