Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If that was your dad, he is hot
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
