Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
