if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
