yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
