Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
