u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize
