Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
