I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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