Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
