I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
