dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
