Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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