I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
