Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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