New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
