Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
