Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i now understand why vodka
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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