i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
