I look better un-naked...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
