I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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