we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
