I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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