i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
