New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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