after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize