But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize