i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
