Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
