worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
