That's when you crack a 10am beer
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
