i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
