I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
