I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This house was built for laser tag.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize