No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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