Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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